("Hamlet")

[fiefoe]

If I look up 'mom' and 'Shakespeare' together in my mind, chances are that the first item that shows up would be the admonition, 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be;'

Mr. Sam Weisman (one-time guest panelist on "Says You")'s garrulous Polonius was unexpectedly entertaining. Hamlet, of course, gets the best lines. ('O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.') We heard a pretty good 'What a piece of work is a man!... And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me... ' speech, but Withnail/Richard E Grant's version still remains up there.

Lord Polonius
    This business is well ended.
My liege, and madam, to expostulate
What majesty should be, what duty is,
Why day is day, night night, and time is time,
Were nothing but to waste night, day and time.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief: your noble son is mad:
Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,
What is’t but to be nothing else but mad?
But let that go.

Queen Gertrude
    More matter, with less art.

Lord Polonius
    Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
That he is mad, ’tis true: ’tis true ’tis pity;
And pity ’tis ’tis true: a foolish figure;
But farewell it, for I will use no art.
Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains
That we find out the cause of this effect,
Or rather say, the cause of this defect,
For this effect defective comes by cause:
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus. Perpend.
I have a daughter—have while she is mine—
Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,
Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise.
[Reads] ‘To the celestial and my soul’s idol, the most beautified Ophelia,’— That’s an ill phrase, a vile phrase; ‘beautified’ is a vile phrase: but you shall hear. Thus:
[Reads] ‘In her excellent white bosom, these, &c.’

Queen Gertrude
    Came this from Hamlet to her?

Lord Polonius
    Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful.