"When You Are Engulfed in Flames"

[fiefoe]

I have a short commute and David Sedaris's stories work very well in this context, as they don't require much of one's attention span. When things get too sad or uncomfortable, (and they often do,) I don't have to stay with them for extended stretches.

Pieces I particularly recall:
* The one about his elderly neighbor in New York, who treats gifts as punishment to people not getting her gifts. The highlight was the moment she spat out her dentures while perching on her windowsill vehemently berating some transgressors below.

* The "April In Paris" piece, April being the spider whose face is chaos and the inspiration of this line "Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute."

I have regressed in my ability to recall phrases from an audiobook, so the quotes below are only ones I can find on the web readily....

• Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
• What they do at 6:00 a.m. is anyone’s guess. I only know that they’re incredibly self-righteous about it and talk about the dawn as if it’s a personal reward, bestowed on account of their great virtue.
• Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit.
• Looking back, I should have taken it more slowly, measured him out over the course of fifty years rather than cramming him in so quickly.
• A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.
• ...that everything you know and love can be undone by a grape.