"Paris Out of Hand"

Written by Karen Elizabeth Gordon in collaboration with Barbara Hodgson and Nick Bantock of "Griffin & Sabine" fame, the book is likely to remain the prettiest book I'll hold in my hands for some time.

This book is perhaps best read when one is slippered and sleeping, dreams still caught in (one's) hair, as the self-professed m.o. of this wayward guide to Paris is "Through asserting an implausible city, we reveal the one that's there, exposing its secret charms and alarms." This is a work of elaborate whimsy and impudent charm. Once in a while it slips into preciousness and obtuseness, but even then, it's hard to keep an befuddled, indulgent smile off one's face.

Demurely enough, the guide starts with hotels. The rating guide features a square with a horizontal bar inside to stand for "Thin walls - your neighbors can hear you", and a square with a vertical bar inside for "Thin walls - you can hear your neighbors". There are also symbols for both fold-down beds and fold-down balconies.

These notional hotels particularly strike my fancy:

• In its present-day guise, it's more for strangers than for foreigners, although Camusian strangers won't be countenanced. Hôtel des Etrangers is open to guests and their shadows; a shadow of a doubt attracts the most attentive service. Doppelgängers are half price off  season, although they are expected to help out with the insomniacs.
• If you're lucky, while you're staying at the Taupiniére, one of the gardeners will ask you to model. Then, from a nearby kiosk, you can order a set of postcards showing you in shaggy profile...
  
• Grand Hôtel des Echec (meaning both chess and failure), 4 impasse de Godot -- "Ici on parle angoisse"/"Anguish spoken here"