Oct. 4th, 2011

Big girl now:
  • A girl so feminine and perfect that half a piece of Trident was the most she could handle.
  • I'm the jerk who starts to drawl when talking to Southerners and I get very butch very fast when playing organized sports.
  • Her complaints were like little WWII telegrams of bad news.
  • That makes me sound like a jerk, I know. But remember the beginning of the story where I was the underdog? No? Me neither.
  • If (Kate Winslet) had gone on the lifeboat, then he could have had that piece of wood she was floating on and they both would have survived.
  • One of the best-kept secrets of "country life" is that people accidentally crush their own pets a lot.
Work + motherhood:
  • If a male actor is giving you a hard time about something, you must immediately scan the area for pretty interns.
  • Harvard is Classical Military Theory, Improv Is Vietnam.
  • I have a uniquely German capacity to vacillate between sentimentality and coldness.
  • Remember that whatever you choose will be blasted through the loft and heard by an entire crew of people who are all so cool that the Board of Ed. officially closed school.
  • The catered lunch makes you feel like you're finally the person you always wanted to be.
  • I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society.. unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.
  • I for one am furious that people are allowed to turn sideways in photographs! Why can't we accept a woman's full width?!
  • You can't predict that some of your best moments will happen around the toilet at six a.am. while you're holding a pile of fingernail clippings like a Santeria priestess.
  • Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.
  • (On reproductive plans:) I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn't even ask myself.



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