Sep. 17th, 2011


Mrs. Tina Fey's autobiography is a breezy, likable read.
  • When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.
  • Having a baby at forty is a commonplace fool's errand these days.
  • My dad tried to give my nap time blanket to the teacher, and she just smiled ans said, "Oh, we don't do that anymore." That's when I realized I had old parents. I've been worried about them ever since.
  • I accepted all the attention at face value and proceeded through life as if I really were extraordinary. .. this has all been a wonderful misunderstanding.
  • The moment they first "knew they were a woman".. when some dude did something nasty to them.
  • (pap smear fun): I just went out like she had hit a reset button. I'm surprised I didn't wake up speaking Spanish like Buzz Lightyear.
  • Then.. if you were not (blessed with a beautiful body), you could just chill out and learn a trade.
  • Larry built a beautiful bird feeder, and the next thing you knew - full of squirrels.
  • A roughneck girl.. who would only answer to Reet," was climbing from ladder to ladder hanging lights for The Jungle Book and cursing like a sailor with a corneal paper cut.
  • Let's review the cost-free techniques that we've learned so far for raising an achievement-oriented, obedient, drug-free, virgin adult: Calamity, Praise, Local Theater, and flat fee.
  • (Don Fey) taught himself Greek so well that when he went to buy tickets to the Acropolis once, the docent told him, "It's free for Greek citizens."
  • How can I give her what Don Fey gave me? The gift of anxiety. The fear of getting in trouble. The knowledge that while you are loved, you are not above the law.

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